Family Things

Marriage has its share of ups and downs and you
have always accepted that. But now it seems like no matter what the
conversation your spouse wants to argue about it. What’s up?

You both had
a bad day at work or maybe due to some miscommunication some pressing family
business didn’t get done. It could be that the two of you are just tired or
that it is just part of your relationship. Whatever it is arguing between
married couples just comes with the territory.

But with a
cheating spouse quarreling takes on a whole new dimension. It’s not just the
normal workings of a relationship at play. It is external forces directly
affecting the commitment that you and your spouse have made to each other.

There are a
number of motives at work when a cheating spouse decides to start picking
fights. 

1. Feeling It

You have been
good to your spouse and they know it. You’ve had your share of ups and downs
like any married couple but that only made you a better duo. And now your
significant other is throwing that away and they know it. The longer the
extramarital affair goes on the greater the guilt. For some it becomes too much
of a load to carry so they wind up confessing; for others it means more
arguing.

2. Shift
Blame 

Suddenly it’s
you that may be the cheating spouse. Your significant other starts telling you
they noticed a mutual friend is a little too friendly towards you. It was at
that party two weeks ago. The fact that you only saw the person from across the
room as they were leaving to go to another party is beside the point. The
bottom line is they “caught” you. 
Shifting blame puts you on the defensive and creates more breathing room
for their marital infidelity.

3. The Get
Out of the House Argument

Your spouse
just got the call from their extramarital partner. It’s on. They were expecting
it so they already figured out what to do. It’s all about knowing which one of
your buttons to push. Whether it was a misunderstanding between the two of you
that happened way back or a current family issue doesn’t matter. As long as it
can get you going to the point where they can go somewhere and “cool off?.

4. Resentment

They come
back from the rendezvous and you’re still there. Your presence may be
activating some of that guilt but it also tells the cheating spouse you are
spoiling their enjoyment.  Coming back
into the house and facing the reality means the fun has come to end. That makes
them angry and arguing is an a way to let you know it

Continuous
arguing has a way of keeping you off balance and filling you with self doubt.
There are going to be disputes in any relationship but if your significant
other is picking fights with you then it could very well mean they have
something to hide.  

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Tags: bad day, bottom line, breathing room, cheating spouse, extramarital affair, family business, guilt, marital infidelity, Marriage, married couple, married couples, miscommunication, misunderstanding, motives, mutual friend, new dimension, relationship, ups, ups and downs

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Filed under: Marriage